If you are reading this text, it means that right now you are in a state of deep despair, pain or hopelessness. You may feel like there is no way out and the only solution is to die. But this feeling is false: crisis conditions distort the perception of reality, forcing us to see a dead end where there are opportunities. Right now, your psyche is under tremendous pressure, and thoughts of suicide are a symptom of this condition, and not an objective truth.
It is important to understand that suicidal thoughts are often temporary, even if the pain seems unbearable. Many people who went through a similar experience subsequently said that at the moment of crisis they simply did not see other options, but help was nearby. There are people and services ready to listen to you without judgment, right now, anonymously and for free. Your life matters, even if you don't feel it right now.
This material contains information on how to survive an acute crisis, where you can turn for support, and what mental mechanisms make us think about death. We will not make empty promises that “everything will get better,” but we will offer concrete steps and contacts that can help get through this moment. Please do not make irreversible decisions until you speak with a specialist.
⚠️ Attention: If you are in danger right now or are planning to commit suicide, immediately call the emergency number 112 (mobile) or 103 (ambulance). Operators will connect you to the required service.
Why do you want to die?
The desire to die rarely arises out of nowhere. It is usually the culmination of a long process of accumulation of problems, traumas or unbearable mental stress. Psychologists call this condition psychological tunnel: consciousness narrows to one point, and a person ceases to see alternatives. A stressed brain blocks the ability to creatively search for solutions, leaving only the illusion of a choice between “endure” and “stop.”
Often behind suicidal thoughts lies a reluctance to die, but a desire to stop the pain. It could be pain from loss, betrayal, financial disaster, or chronic illness. Depression, bipolar disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder chemically change the functioning of the brain, making emotions unbearably vivid or, conversely, completely destroying the ability to feel joy. In such a state, a person may not realize that his perception is distorted by the disease.
It is important to distinguish between suicidal thoughts and suicidal intent. Thoughts may come spontaneously, as a protective reaction of the peak to an overload (“if only all this would stop”), but intention requires a plan. If you already have a plan or are preparing the means to implement it, this is a signal that mental resources are critically depleted. At such a moment on your own it is almost impossible to cope, and outside intervention is required.
- 🔴 Acute pain: Unbearable emotional or physical suffering that seems endless.
- 🔵 Hopelessness: The belief that the future will not bring anything good and the situation will never change.
- 🟢 Feeling of a burden: The feeling that your existence is causing pain or problems to others and the world will be a better place without you.
- 🟡 Insulation: Feeling of deep loneliness, even if there are people nearby; feeling that no one can understand your pain.
⚠️ Attention: If you hear voices telling you to harm yourself, or see things that others don't, this could be a sign of acute psychosis. In this case, urgent hospitalization is necessary.
Where to call right now: helplines
There are services designed specifically for people in crisis. The operators of these lines are professional psychologists and trained volunteers who know how to conduct dialogue in such situations. They won't judge you, lecture you, or tell you that "life is wonderful." Their job is to be there until the storm passes and help you find your footing.
Calls to the hotline are anonymous. You do not have to give your name, address or other personal details unless you want to. You can cry, remain silent, scream or speak incoherently - you will be listened to. The main rule of these services: confidentiality and acceptance. Many people are afraid that they will be “laughed at” or considered weak, but for operators, your call is a job, and your pain is a reality that requires attention.
The following main numbers operate in Russia and the CIS countries (calls are free from mobile and landline phones):
☑️ Action plan in the first 5 minutes
- 📞 8-800-2000-122: Children's helpline (works also for adults, 24 hours a day, anonymously).
- 📞 112: A single emergency number (you can ask to be connected to a psychologist or ambulance).
- 📞 8 (495) 989-50-50: Moscow service of psychological assistance to the population (from mobile, anonymously).
- 🌐 Online chat: Many services, for example, “Your Territory.Online,” offer help in text format if speaking with your voice is scary.
If the operator is busy, do not hang up - wait or try another number. If you are not in Russia, enter the query “suicide hotline” + the name of your country into a search engine. There are such services in almost every country in the world.
What to say if it’s hard to find words?
If you find it difficult to formulate a thought, start with the phrase: “I feel very bad, I’m thinking about death.” The operator himself will ask the necessary questions to assess the degree of risk. You don't have to be eloquent or logical. Just say: "I don't want to live." This is enough for them to start helping you.
Algorithm of action in an acute crisis
When a wave of despair hits, it’s hard to think straight. At such moments, a clear, step-by-step algorithm helps, which allows you to gain time. Time is your main ally. The suicidal impulse often does not last long, and if it is “waited out” in a safe environment, the severity of the condition may decrease.
First step - security. Remove away any objects that could be used to cause harm: medicines, sharp objects, ropes. If you are at home, lock the door or, conversely, leave the house to a crowded place. If you're alone, call someone, even if it's a stranger or a help desk operator.
| Step | Action | Goal |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Remove means of suicide | Make implementation of the plan technically difficult |
| 2 | Contact support | Break the insulation and get external support |
| 3 | Use grounding techniques | Bring yourself back to reality and reduce anxiety |
| 4 | Postpone decision for 24 hours | Give the psyche time to restore resources |
Second step - grounding techniques. When thoughts are chaotic, you need to switch your attention to the body and physical sensations. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: find 5 objects with your eyes, touch 4 things, hear 3 sounds, smell 2 smells and taste 1 taste. This helps the brain switch from “panic” mode to “analysis of the environment” mode.
Ice Cube Technique: Take an ice cube in your hand and hold it until it melts. A strong cold sensation helps to “reboot” the nervous system and get out of a state of emotional numbness or hysteria.
How to help yourself get through the night
Night time is the most dangerous time for people in crisis. Silence, darkness and the absence of external distractions increase negative thoughts. If you are going through a night alone, it is important to create a safe environment. Don't stay in the dark: turn on the lights, TV or radio so there are sounds of life in the room.
Try not to go to bed if you don't plan to sleep. The bed is often associated with vulnerability and thoughts. It’s better to sit in a chair, wrap yourself in a heavy blanket (this creates the effect of a hug) and do something monotonous. Watching familiar, light movies, reading, or even fiddling with small objects can help you get through until the morning.
If you feel like control is slipping away, don't wait until morning. Call an ambulance or the police, honestly telling the dispatcher: “I want to commit suicide, I need help.” It's not shameful. It is the act of taking care of yourself at a time when you cannot do it yourself. Doctors have the authority to admit you to a hospital to stabilize your condition, where you will be safe.
- 🌙 Light: Leave the lights on in all rooms or turn on a night light.
- 📺 Background: Turn on the radio or TV to drown out the silence.
- 📱 Communication: Keep your phone charged and handy.
- 🚫 Prohibition: Don't use alcohol or drugs - they increase depression and reduce control.
⚠️ Attention: Alcohol is a depressant. Even a small dose can increase suicidal thoughts and reduce the ability to control your actions. In a state of crisis, alcohol is strictly prohibited.
The night will definitely end. Your task is simply to survive until dawn, without making any final decisions in the dark.
What to do after the crisis: recovery plan
Once the acute phase has passed and the immediate threat to life has passed, the important work of recovery begins. A crisis is a signal that the old ways of coping no longer work. You need to find professional help. Psychotherapy and, if necessary, medication can restore chemical balance in the brain and learn to cope with emotions.
The first step is a visit to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist at the PND (Psychoneurological Dispensary) at your place of residence or in a private clinic. Contacting a state dispensary does not mean automatic “registration” in the scary sense of the word. Only people with severe chronic diseases that pose a danger to themselves or others are subject to registration. Routine treatment of depression or reactive conditions is a confidential medical service.
It is important to create support system. Think about who in your circle you can trust. It doesn't have to be your best friend or parent. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who is less involved in your situation. Support groups where you can connect with people who have had similar experiences are also helpful.
I'm afraid that they will register me
There is advisory assistance that does not imply registration at a dispensary. You can clarify this issue with the registrar or doctor before your appointment. Your goal is to get help, not problems with your job or rights, and doctors are required to maintain medical confidentiality.
Frequently asked questions (FAQ)
Am I afraid that if I call I will be hospitalized immediately?
Hospitalization only occurs if there is an immediate threat to your life right now and you cannot ensure your safety. If you just want to talk and are in a safe place, no one will force you to the hospital. The purpose of the helpline is to help you survive the crisis on an outpatient basis.
Is it possible to anonymously contact a psychologist online?
Yes, there are many services, such as “Your Territory”, “Clear Morning” (for cancer patients and their loved ones) and others, where you can write to chat psychologists completely anonymously, without registration or specifying a name.
What should I do if I have already taken the pills, but now I regret it?
Immediately call an ambulance by calling 103 or 112. Tell the dispatcher exactly what and how much you took. Don't be afraid of judgment - the lives of doctors are most important. Gastric lavage and administration of antidotes should be carried out as quickly as possible.
Would talking to a friend help me?
Talking to a friend can help if the person is a good listener and doesn't give empty advice like "get a grip." However, friends are not professionals. If a friend doesn't know how to react, he may become afraid or begin to push. A professional psychologist knows how to work with suicidal risks without destroying the client’s psyche.
Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. This world needs you, even if it seems otherwise now. Give yourself a chance.